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Clayvision.com
15507 S. Normandie Ave. PMB 206
Gardena, CA 90247
ph: (310) 532 - 3753
clayvision@yahoo.com |
Signs that you are Japanese American
In case you don't already know...
(I am not the author of this list!)
You've seen this list (or ones similar to this)
circulated in emails or around the office...
Here they all are for your entertainment.
If you have other "signs", feel free to email them to me...
June 27th, July 3rd, July 10th, July 17th, Oct 2nd, Oct 10th, Oct 31st, 2001 |
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- You start off the new year with a bowl of ozoni for good luck and the
mochi sticks to the roof of your mouth.
- You know not to eat the tangerine on the top of the mochi at New
Year's.
(or to break off any of the leaves...)
- You have a 12-pack of mochi in your freezer that you still refuse to
throw away in July.
(It's still okay to eat... isn't it?)
- You eat soba on New Year's Eve.
- You know that Benihana's isn't real Japanese food.
(5a. You know that Sushi Boy isn't a real sushi bar)
- You fight fiercely for the check after dinner.
(It was fun watching all my relatives fight for the bill!)
- You've hidden money in the pocket of the person who paid for dinner.
(Or you throw money at them and run away...)
- You don't need to read the instructions on the proper use of a hashi.
(translation: hashi = chopsticks...)
- You pack bento for road trips.
(translation: bento = musubi = riceballs)
- You know the virtues of SPAM.
(translation: Spam = ??? - Does anyone know what Spam really is...?)
- You know what it means to eat "footballs."
(and "tires"...)
- You were eating Chinese chicken salad, years before everyone else.
(before everyone else discovered Rascals...)
- You grew up eating ambrosia, wonton, and finger jell-o at family
potlucks.
(I never realized how much work it takes to make
the always delicious 7 layer jell-o...)
- You grew up on rice: bacon fried rice,
chili rice, curry rice, or red rice.
(Bacon Fried Rice = 1 week's supply of cholesterol )
- You like to eat rice with your spaghetti.
(Rice with steak, rice with french fries,
rice with chex mix...)
- You use the "finger method" to measure the water for your
rice cooker.
(Is their another way?)
- You always use Best Foods mayonnaise and like to mix it with shoyu to
dip broccoli.
- You like to eat your rice in a chawan,
not on a plate.
(You can't have ochazuke on a plate...)
- You use plastic Cool Whip containers to hold day-old rice and
leftovers.
(Free tupperware with your purchase of Cool Whip)
- Along with salt and pepper, you have a shoyu dispenser at your table.
(Salt and Pepper... what's that?)
- You buy rice 25 pounds at a time and
shoyu a gallon at a time.
(Japanese markets were like primitive Costcos...)
- Natto: you either love it or hate it.
(Hate it...)
- As a kid, you used to eat Botan rice candy.
(Eating the paper always seemed like a daring
thing to do...)
- When you're sick, you eat okayu.
(Is that Japanese for chicken soup?)
- Milk makes you queasy and alcohol turns your face red.
(No disguising a drinking problem in our culture.)
- Whenever you are with more than
three people, it takes an hour to decide
where to eat.
(Sometimes... just with one person)
- You keep a supply of rubber bands,
twist ties, and tofu containers in the kitchen.
(Don't forget the plastic grocery bags...)
- As much as you want it,
never ever take the last--anything.
Enryo, enryo, enryo.
("No, I insist you eat the last lobster tail...")
- You never take the last piece of food on a plate--but will cut it
into smaller pieces.
(I just want one bean of that edamame)
- When you leave a JA house, you take leftover food home on a paper
plate or a Styrofoam meat tray or container.
(JA dinner program...
Cook meal, eat meal, make-a-plate, do dishes...)
This concludes the culinary portion of our
program...
Non-food related signs are coming next...
- You know that Camp doesn't mean
a cabin in the woods.
- The men in your family were gardeners, farmers, or produce workers.
- The women in your family were seamstresses, domestic workers,
or farm laborers.
- Your Issei grandparents had an
arranged marriage.
- You have Nisei relatives named Tak, Tad, George, Harry or Shig.
(Uncle Tak, Uncle Tad, Uncle Harry, etc..)
- You have Nisei relatives named Keiko, Aiko, Sumi or Mary.
(Auntie Mary, Auntie, Keiko, Auntie Aiko, etc...)
- You're Sansei and your name is Janice, Glen, Brian, Bill or Kenji.
(Or this is a list of your friends...)
- You're thinking of naming your Yonsei child, Brittany, Jenny, Lauren,
Garrett, or Brett, with a Japanese middle name.
- All of your cousins are having hapa kids.
- You have relatives who live in Hawaii.
- You belong to a Japanese Credit Union.
- The bushes in your front yard are all trimmed into balls.
(and the grass looks sparkling...)
- You have a kaki tree in the backyard.
(or more trimmed balls...)
- You have at least one bag of sembei in the house at all times.
(and one too many candy bars...)
- You have a Japanese doll in a glass case in your living room.
(Or Japanese clay miniatures...)
- You have a maneki-neko cat in your house for good luck.
(Or a maneki charm, or a maneki pendant...)
- You have large Japanese platters in your china cabinet.
- You have the family MON or Japanese needlepoint on the wall.
- Your grandma used to crochet all your blankets, pot holders, and dish
towels.
- Wherever you live, you come home to the Obon festival
- You check to see if you need to take off your shoes at your JA
friends' houses.
(and if you can take off your socks...)
- When you visit other JAs, you give or
receive a bag of fruits or vegetables.
- When you visit other JAs, you know that
you should bring omiage.
- You and your friends call yourselves "Buddaheads," but
don't like it when
white people do.
(Every nationality has their phrases...)
- You have an air pump thermos
covered with lilacs.
(Where else are you supposed to get hot water?)
- You know that Pat Morita doesn't really speak like Mr. Miyagi.
(Concentrate Daniel-san... focus power...)
- You know someone who has run for the Nisei Queen Pageant.
- When your back is sore, you use Tiger Balm, or that flexi-stick with
the rubber ball on the end that goes, "katonk,""katonk."
- You know the story of Momotaro.
(you know... the peach boy...)
- You've heard your name pronounced a half-dozen different ways.
(I have many stories regarding mis-pronunciation...)
- At school, you had those Hello Kitty pencil boxes and sweet smelling
erasers.
(I know people who still do...)
- Your dad owns a Member's Only jacket.
(and still wears it...)
- Someone you know drives an Acura Integra, Honda Accord or Toyota
Camry.
(Yes, yes, and yes...
but even non-JAs drive those now....)
- You have a kaeru frog or good luck charm hanging in your car.
(I used to have an egglplant... really!)
- Your parents compare you to
their friends' kids.
("But Dad, their parents are normal...")
- Your dentist, doctor and optometrist is Japanese American.
(Yes, yes, and yes... so is my mechanic)
- You socialize with groups of eight
or more people.
(I wish I had that many friends!)
- You know that E.O. 9066 isn't a zip code.
- You're not superstitious, but you
believe in bachi.
(You better believe it!)
- You used to own one of those
miniature zori key chains.
(One day it might read...
"miniature Clayvision key
chains"
Yeah, right!?! Dream on...)
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More to come...???
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